


let's move on

by yuetlung



Series: why do we write letters? [1]
Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Funerals, Letters, M/M, Mentions of Death, authors first work on ao3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:55:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26826229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuetlung/pseuds/yuetlung
Summary: eiji wrote another letter.(cross-posted on twitter)
Relationships: Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji
Series: why do we write letters? [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1956739
Kudos: 7





	let's move on

**Author's Note:**

> hihi! this is my first work on ao3, and i hope yall like it! sorry its kinda short

Do you believe in wishes? Or prayers? I don’t, but I still make 11:11 wishes everyday. They’re all for you, Ash. I wonder to myself often, about you. You’ve taken over every corner in my brain, and I want you out. You were flames, maybe the sun. Shining so brightly everyone had to look away. Did you know that scientists think that the sun might burn out one day? Although that day won’t be for millions of years, when we’re both lost in history. We won’t be remembered by history. Stories are passed through people, and our tale won’t be told by anyone. Ash, you should have at least went out with a bang. You know how disappointed I was when I heard you just bled to death? You’ve suffered so much already, isn’t this enough? In my last letter, I said we would meet again. I still believe that. I don’t know where you are now. Maybe you’re a ghost, looking at me write this. Maybe you’re in the underworld, living as a zombie without memories of me, cursed to wander the Asphodel Meadows for eternity. You could be getting a cleansing in the River of Lethe, going for a reincarnation. Maybe you’re in Valhalla, as you are a “distinguished warrior”, or so the legends go. I wish you luck wherever you are, and wherever you’re going. You probably won’t need it, being the amazing bastard you are. I also said that I would never say sayonara to you, ash, but I may be taking my words back. I have to say goodbye, I have to learn to let go. It won’t work, I already know this. But I will try. I know that I’ll most likely be never able to fall in love again. To enjoy the ups and downs, the twists and turns of feelings that I felt for you. Repeatedly, I try to push you out of my mind. Your blonde hair, such a common colour, but different in a way. Your eyes, emerald green, looking at me with that glint of mischief. Your lips… I do not wish to go on. You looked peaceful, at your funeral. Clad in a suit, with an emerald tie. Thank gods your eyes were closed, you looked as if you were simply asleep, not in another dimension that I hope to never reach, but I will one day. You were an untamable wild beast, resisting control from foreign forces until the very end. I would ask, might I have managed to tame you? You opened up to me, and that may have been what lead to your downfall. Was I the reason why? Was I the reason you let down your guard? I do not know, and I do not wish to know. Your passing was no ones fault. Thank you. Thank you for showing me a world I would never have wished to discover, but it opened my eyes. Thank you for giving me reason. Reason for what you may ask. I do not know myself. Maybe it was a reason to live, maybe it was a reason to stay, maybe it was a reason to go. Maybe, maybe, maybe. My world expanded by meeting you. In this mess of thoughts for you, I know one thing. I will never regret meeting you. I miss you, Aslan Jade Callenreese.  
\---  
Eiji stood in the New York Library. In his hand he held a paper crane. His final message to Ash, in the spot he passed peacefully. Well, as peacefully as he could. How long did it take him to write the first letter? The entire night before his departure maybe? But this one, this took him only an hour. He let out all his feelings on the paper, his anger, his fears, and his hopes. Ash would probably never read it, he knew, but he wanted his thoughts documented somewhere that was not the mess called his brain. Letting go would be hard, and Eiji never thought he would accomplish the goal. But he would try, for Ash, for Shorter, for Sing, for Ibe-san, and most importantly, for himself. Eiji set down the crane, and left the library. Walking on into the future without Ash, but one with him.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! i think im supposed to plug my twitter now? [@dormir_etoiles](https://twitter.com/dormir_etoiles)


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